Sleep Training Isn’t Cruel, Confusing Advice Is.
Let’s clear something up right now:
Most of what new parents are told about sleep training is either outdated, misunderstood, or wildly exaggerated.
Welcoming a newborn is magical… and also wildly disorienting. One minute you’re soaking in newborn cuddles, the next you’re awake at 3am scrolling conflicting sleep advice while wondering if you’ve already “ruined” your baby’s sleep forever.
Sleep training doesn’t have to be scary, extreme, or all-or-nothing but the myths surrounding it can make parents feel anxious, guilty, and stuck. So let’s bust a few of the biggest ones and replace them with facts, clarity, and a little relief.
Myth #1
Sleep Training = Leaving Your Baby to Cry Alone
Reality:
Nope. Not even close.
Sleep training is an umbrella term not a single method. It simply means helping your baby learn how to fall asleep and resettle with less assistance over time. That might involve parental support, hands-on settling, gradual changes, or structured strategies depending on your baby and your comfort level.
You don’t “pick a method and disappear.”
You respond, adjust, support and stay very much involved.
Myth #2
You Can’t Start Until Your Baby Is Much Older
Reality:
Healthy sleep foundations start long before toddlerhood.
While newborns aren’t “trained,” they are learning from day one. By a few months old, babies are capable of more predictable rhythms, routines, and sleep cues. Supporting these early can prevent bigger sleep struggles later.
Sleep support evolves with your baby. It’s never too early or too late. It’s not a switch you flip at a certain age.
Myth #3
Sleep Training Damages Attachment
Reality:
A securely attached baby isn’t created by exhaustion.
Responding to your baby during the day and helping them sleep well at night are not opposites they work together. In fact, parents who are rested tend to be more patient, responsive, and emotionally available.
Sleep training isn’t about withdrawing love.
It’s about creating consistency, predictability, and confidence for everyone.
Myth #4
It Works Instantly (Or It’s Failed)
Reality:
Progress with baby sleep is rarely linear.
There may be great nights, wobbly nights, developmental leaps, teething, illness, travel, and moments where you question everything. That doesn’t mean it’s not working.
Sleep is a skill. Skills take time, repetition, and flexibility.
Myth #5
One Method Works for Every Baby
Reality:
If that were true, my job wouldn’t exist.
Temperament, age, feeding method, family values, routines, and environment all matter. What works beautifully for one baby might be a disaster for another.
Effective sleep support is personalised not copied from a reel, a forum, or your neighbour’s cousin’s baby.
So What Does Help?
Understanding your baby’s cues (not guessing or forcing schedules)
Supporting age-appropriate awake windows and routines
Making changes gradually and intentionally
Staying consistent but flexible when life happens
Getting support when you’re stuck instead of powering through alone
Sleep training isn’t about being strict, detached, or doing things “by the book.”
It’s about helping your baby sleep in a way that works for your family without fear, guilt, or unrealistic expectations.
And if sleep feels overwhelming right now? That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human, tired, and doing your best.
If you want support that’s practical, personalised, and grounded in real life (not internet noise), I’m here to help. Together, we can create a plan that supports your baby’s development and your wellbeing because both matter.
I’ve got you,
Clare
Your baby sleep expert